Thursday, March 26, 2020
A Final Tribute to a Husband, Father, Grandfather and Friend
In the early hours of the morning of March 17, 2020, I suddenly lost my best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life, my husband. Our children and grandchildren lost their father and grandfather. Newly found distant cousins discovered through his passion for genealogy, lost a relative. And people from his past, his present, his former co-workers and his volunteer community, lost a very dear friend.
John was modest in every aspect of his life. He was never one to talk much about himself, he never inflated any of his accomplishments, and in fact played down any success. He just took in stride the life he had been given, from very humble beginnings in Brooklyn, N.Y, where he spent a total of 3 hours on buses and subways every day just to get to High School. It was only he and his Mother from the time he was 8 years old after his father passed away. Seeing how hard his dear Mother worked to provide for them, he began taking part-time jobs at a very young age, in order to step in to help. That ‘stepping in to help’ stayed with John for the rest of his life.
His caring nature and concern for others became a part of who John was. Always ready to help and lend a hand to anyone, John was there sometimes even before others realized they needed assistance. His gentle personality and even-temperedness combined with his unequalled sense of humour, made John a ‘one-of-a-kind’! Laughter, joking and pranks filled our home on a daily basis. We heard the stories of him getting into trouble at school because of this remarkable humour, admitting that most times he really did not know what he had done. But when the other students laughed, John was usually responsible. Oh, that ‘Irish wit’!
With John’s Mother being raised on a farm near my farm on the outskirts of Brockville, John and his parents were frequent summer visitors. John became a special part of summer vacations and eventually those vacations turned into a more permanent romance. Long distance relationships are difficult, especially when the only form of communication is letter writing and occasional phone calls. No internet! But the wonderful thing about old fashioned letter writing, is not always the words or the lines, but the unspoken words between the lines. That is how two people really become connected with a sense of who the other person really is. A lot can be learned about someone in hand-written letters.
John’s essence as a person, a son, and a friend who always put others before himself, shone through in everything he said and did. He had a compassion for justice and for right. Never wavering from his high moral standards and strong character, John’s interaction with everyone was always with diplomacy, respect and dignity. He really was a true gentleman.
In this unprecedented and uncertain time in which we now find ourselves, it was necessary for a very private and fast-moving farewell. As a result, the final good-byes and expressions of condolences could not take place. I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of kind words, emails, texts, cards and phone calls from family, friends and co-workers from long ago. Every person who knew John has spoken with such fondness and admiration and that in turn has brought me enormous comfort. I thank each and every one for all the many kind words. I will treasure your kindness in the weeks, months and years ahead, knowing that John not only touched my life and that of his family, but that he left such a positive impact on everyone.
“Forever yours until we meet again, my love.”
Carolyn
