Obituary of Philip Charles de Gruchy
de Gruchy, Charles
Loving Friend and Hard not to Love
Entered into rest Saturday December 14th, 2019. Charles Philip de Gruchy aged 66 years. Dear husband of Scott Wilson of Brockville, father of John Carson and Honoria Eva de Gruchy-Wilson both at home. Charles is also survived by his mother in law Donna Wilson, a sister in law Kelly Wilson (Steven Emery), nieces Olivia and Maya.
As requested by Charles, there will be no service held. In memory of Charles donations to Autism Ontario at Autismontario.com would be gratefully appreciated by the family. Arrangements entrusted to the Barclay Funeral Home, 137 Pearl St. East Brockville. Messages of condolence may be sent online at www.barclayfuneralhome.com.
This is an addendum to the initial obituary, composed at a time of shock, trauma and disbelief in 2019.
I reflect of my time with Charles since first meeting in 1997, and to the day of his internment July 5, 2024, at Mount Pleasant Cemetery in Toronto.
Charles remained an elegant, classic and hardworking spirit seemingly from a different era. He spoke eloquently, sometimes engulfed in a topic, eager to share his passions in life and history. He was an avid reader of all genres; classics, childhood favourites, architecture, English gardens, and all things a true Anglophile could speak to. If there was ever a Toronto-phile, he was it. Charles collected, preserved and amassed quite a history of Toronto and its legacies.
Charles consistently was eager to share deep meaning of the power of words. Gregorian chants would he play at times of reflection, solace and seeking a sense of calm from chaos.
Charles was involved in high school football, track and field, a swimming lifeguard, former cello player, avid skier and equestrian. He believed in working for what he truly wanted. His entrepreneurial nature began at an early age.
Charles was alumni of the University of Toronto, graduating with a Bachelor of Arts, and Master of Arts. The University of Toronto Landmark Project installed a named paver, forever enshrining his commitment and devotion to the University.
His passion for business, creativity, developing ideas, established a successful upward career trajectory. Charles remained well connected with peers and colleagues world-wide, travelled extensively for work commitments, and certainly some pleasure included.
His desire to lead a less than ordinary life was established. He was never being boring, because he was never bored. “Keep busy…make a list.” Gardening remained a constant source of pleasure, peace and satisfaction as Charles envisioned a more productive and sustainable earth.
When Charles was no longer able to continue his chosen career options, he spent his time devoting his creativity to his home and garden, especially with our family.
Charles adhered to family first. He believed and adored the concept of family and chosen family, colourful friends, and was hard not to love back.
His love for our children John and Honoria transformed Charles into a new life. The family, albeit unconventional was about as complete as it was to be. Charles loved very hard, that glowing energy could perhaps take up the oxygen in a room at times.
Holiday traditions, sentiments, gestures great and small, impeccable manners, decorum and comfort are values he shared with loved ones. Movie nights varied from sentimental classics to modern action and downright silly eye candy. Charles knew who brought him love, laughter, safety and security in the lighter and darkest of times. Charles’ favourite number was two, as good things come in pairs, our children, our marriage. Being there in the end is what matters.
Charles lived quite a few versions of a life. Certain people, who shall remain nameless, know the truth, and the injustice that contributed to his traumatic, unexpected and preventable death. Charles’ courage, strength and spirit carried him, living for the day to come home to our family. Taken from us too soon, Charles’ untimely death will not be in vain. I promise.
Charles will be treasured for his kind heart, supportive intuition, devotion, generosity in all matters that count. Charles’ gentle kindness, faith and hope, at times booming laugh, are but now memories.
I remain forever thine and placing your ashes in the family place you wanted to be buried, with my own hands, “home.” I will always see you smile and your cherubic eyes sparkle. Releasing him to the earth and God’s enduring, loving heaven, with grace.
There will be joy, love and laughter, with some tears, change is embraced, nothing is perfect. Impermanence is acceptance. We can now seek more peace, some closure for us, our children, family and friends. Begin again Chuckie, our guardian angel. Letting go is not forgetting. Ever. See you later…Scottie.
